Friday, March 14, 2008

I'm having one of the question the universe days

I'm no Monk nor am I a scholar, but I do my best to keep true to the extent of my intelligence. However, it is only my definition of intelligence that may present an issue. Can it be measurement of one's knowledge or common sense? Some may say wisdom. But what is wisdom but knowledge with understanding of that knowledge that only once realized is understood? Could intelligence simply be one's lack of ignorance added to having an open and analytical frame of mind? The capacity to acquire and apply knowledge and the faculty of thought and reason?
This is just one of the many pressing questions in my mind that I voice to create new questions in others. Maybe I'm just over-analyzing the concept and cosmos, but at least I'm not fazing out in front of the idiot box or out riding a hippie.

Through zeal knowledge is gotten, through lack of zeal knowledge is Lost. Right?

I'm cynical and literal and have quite recently become bitter to a point where nothing bothers me anymore. Anyone who has a problem with me can shove it up their flaccid assholes and suck monkey for all I care. I know I'm not perfect; neither are you so shut it.

I don't believe in fate, luck, or destiny. They're just objects people use as a fallout when they need something to blame or thank for the good/bad things that happen to them. Sorry people, but the sad fact is when shit hits the's only a reaction to a choice you've made, your lifestyle, or the people you surround yourself with. Let's not forget the fact that this world is in itself a big steaming pile of crap and even good people trip and get thrown face first into it.

I do however to believe in Karma to some extent. Because it is a fact that everything you do, good or bad, will in some way come back to you. Even if it's only in the form of a prosperous life, or personal demons. It's ok. You're not crazy. There's just a small chance you have a conscience.

But I digress.

Every truth, and every cleverly fabricated lie has stemmed from the human mind. I'm sure no other species in this known world gives a crap on the mating rituals of the Bat, or how a religious icon created the universe. Isn't it odd to you that everything we know is a conclusion created by us? How do we really know that What we know is an indisputable truth?

Hell, we can't even be sure of the things we Can control or predict. In the long run, nothing can be fully controlled or predicted. Or known.

So, we come up with the best conclusion we can? This is wrong, and this is right. This is how you should be, and this is how you shouldn't be. This is how the world was created....And this, is the Mating ritual of the Fruit Bat

Sunday, March 2, 2008

If Zazen were Campelle's soup

Most of you know me well enough to know I'm big on just sitting back and observing. This was a really good time to do that. Weekend trip to Atlanta for The Sesshin. With All of the smart and profound-like people I love so much, my fellow Buddhists. Zazen from Concentrate hahahaha.

I couldn't help but notice how repetitive everything is. During Darhma Talk and Tea everyone was saying the same thing over and over just in prettier words and different forms. It was saved by the randomly thrown-in humor courtesy of Brad and most often Mike Ellis. I'm not saying none of it was true or that any of it was meaningless. I just wonder if any of them realized that they may have sounded pensive but were in actuality just sub-consciously parroting what had just been said to them.

Had I been in Brad's or Mike's spot, I think I would have been perturbed that their repetition was causing me to be repetitive in return. Personally I hate repeating myself.

I think a Sesshin must be one of the easiest things to plan. You're not supposed to do anything but talk(rarely), eat, sleep, and sit. There's something very intriguing in that simplicity. And I make zazen sound easy to do. Hahahahahaha

It's so not.

Somewhere in there the tension in my shoulders caused something to happen to my windpipe and it felt like someone was choking me. I could breathe, but the pain that would accompany such a dilemma is what I'm talking about. My Ass hurts, my knees, my hips, and my back....But you get used to it, and it's all worth it. In this concentrated meditation you have this uninterrupted time to put everything into focus, dwell on it, and let it go. Which is something you don't get when going through daily life. Always being plagued by what's in front of us at the time.

One lesson that seemed to confront me in many forms this weekend is that nothing can be non-existent without existing in the first place. I.E.Without the existence of noise, there would be no silence. It's thanks to Zazen that I understand that age old question, "if a tree fell in a forest and no one was there to hear it fall, did it make any noise?" Regardless of how banal it is.

Anyway. There was a special guest. One Mr. Brad Warner Pictured in my slideshow on my Myspace Page, actually. An interesting character to observe I can tell you. One of those people I can look at for the first time and know something is bothering them and it's obvious only because they're trying not to be obvious. He gives himself little credit and doesn't fight to be heard. One example I can give is at the goodbye lunch. In a conversation he'd be about to say something and another would interrupt him. That defeated/acceptance expression steals over his face and in a split second he shrugs it off and turns to the other group, where he is immediately accepted into whatever plethora they're separately discussing. I can picture, however, that little person in his head that's screaming "WTF?? Rude much?" The looks and expressions that flutter over his face and behind his eyes when he thinks no one is looking...that mind must be a time bomb. Could be good or bad. We'll see.

I don't want to sound creepy or stalker-ish. Honestly. But i really wish I could have had more time to study him. After this though, I may just go and read his books again. I know that, for me at least, there are thoughts and ways of speaking I can put on paper easier than I can express or utter them.

So....*cough* on the way home...We were stuck on the highway, motionless, for quite some time...maybe moving a few feet every once and a while. I noticed there's a Chick-a-fillet headquarters down there, interesting. I took a lot of "lookie I'm bored" pictures if you can't tell from the slide show. After we got moving I sat in the back for a bit with my arm up just pushing the picture button. That's how I got the whoo hoo pic.